Act In The Lord Jesus Christ

It was the most difficult decision she has ever made...or maybe it was the easiest decision she has ever made. It was the toughest decision she has ever made...or maybe it was the weakest decision she has ever made. It was the most thoughtful decision she has ever made...or maybe it was the most purposeless decision she has ever made. No matter what the reason, her decision is final...and the finality of her decision has eternal effects and intended and unintended consequences. But, maybe...it wasn't her decision at all...

There was no other way...this was the only way...and it was the Greatest Act of Love she would ever bestow upon me. Her last act of love was her deepest, strongest, most significant act of love she would ever share with me. She slammed the door on our relationship and completely purged me from her life, mind, and heart. Her heart is set against me...her heart is hardened against me...her heart is filled with enmity for me. A once pure...once beautiful heart...once overflowing with love for me has now declared all out war against me. But, maybe...it wasn't her decision at all...

She had to do it...she had to implement an extreme measure. I was living an internally reckless life saturated in my sin. I was not going to stop...not now...not ever. Not because I didn't want to...I did want to...I tried to...but, I was in the death clutch of my addiction and I couldn't get out. I couldn't fight for myself, but she could...and, she did. She chose to fight a valiant spiritual war and conduct her spiritual warfare in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ...with courage, with love, with patience, and though it might seem satan has prevailed...he has not. Satan and his demons will not prevail in stealing the Testimony of Reconciliation the Lord Jesus Christ is seeking. It was...still is...and will always be a spiritual warfare. She knows it...and, now I know it. I'm in the fight, fighting...I'm in the battle, battling...and here stands the Lord Jesus Christ fighting and battling alongside me. Join together with us! Fight together with us! Battle together with us! Wage War! Victory will be the Lord Jesus Christ's. She was the most fierce spiritual fighter in my fight as the Lord Jesus Christ strengthened her. In fact, I wasn't even in my own spiritual fight until she laid down her spiritual weapons. (Ephesians 6) I picked up her spiritual weapons and will be their caretaker if she choses to rejoin the spiritual war. In the meantime, I fight...the Lord Jesus Christ fights, I battle...the Lord Jesus Christ battles, I war...the Lord Jesus Christ wars. He alone strengthens my spirit...He alone sharpens my spiritual weapons...He alone leads me forward in this spiritual battle. She made the decision to leave the spiritual battle...the spiritual war she first waged and fought with the Lord Jesus Christ against satan and his demons who were attacking our family. But, maybe it wasn't her decision at all...

The mighty hand of God is visibly evident. His mighty work is still in progress. Looking forward my sight is narrowed on Him. I don't know what the future brings. But, looking back in His victory on Friday March 26th, 2021 at 5:03am over my paralyzing depression, crippling anxiety, and unrelenting addiction I see the powerful hand of God. There has only been five previous occasions where I have seen His work my powerfully in my own personal life than He is now: the eternal salvation of my wife's soul, the eternal salvation of my own soul, the existence of Zion Esaias, the existence of Ezra Israel, and our own marriage. She made the decision to put our future to an absolute and definite end. But, maybe it wasn't her decision at all...

He had to put me through these circumstances to bring me back to Him for the remainder of my days on this Earth into eternity...and to use me for His glory, while I am on this Earth. The door had to be slammed. The communication had to be cut. But, what satan has meant for evil, God has used for His glory. Four days later on Friday March 26th, 2021 at 5:03 am...the moment I repented of my sins He has purged me of my sins and created within me a new heart and I experience the full peace of restoration with the Lord Jesus Christ. Love is there, Forgiveness is there, but Trust needs to be restored. How do I get her back? Is there any way? She is gone. How do we stop the divorce process? Is there any way to come back together and live for God's glory? She is gone. How do we preserve the oneness with our Lord? Is there any way to be a family again? She is gone. But, the Lord Jesus Christ is involved and He brought me back to Himself...that was impossible. He brought me back into His care...that was impossible. He brought me back into His fellowship...that was impossible. The finality of her decision can be reversed...but, that would be impossible. The finality of our situation can be reversed...but, that would be impossible. The finality of a testimony of regret can be reversed...but, that would be impossible. But, our God is a God of the impossible. This is not out of His care, His thoughts, His understanding. Repentance had to occur for Godly change to occur and this was the only way. But, it doesn't have to be this way. It doesn't have to continue in this direction. The Lord Jesus Christ gave me the choice to continue or change and I chose to change for Him...for His testimony...for His Glory...for His Honor...for His Praise...for His Worship.

She married me, because she knew if we had nothing we would still have everything, because we would have each other. I married her, because when we didn't have anything we still had everything, because we had each other. Now that we don't have each other why continue our marriage? Because, the Lord Jesus Christ built our foundation and His Love for us surpasses all understanding. He formed us for one another...He brought us together for one another...He blessed us with two amazing boys...He made our marriage fireproof...He has plans for us...He will hold our marriage together, but only if we return to Him.

It was the most hurtful decision she has ever made...or maybe it was the most healing decision she has ever made.

Dear Reader, please pray for my family and the Godly restoration there of. I have prayed for you. I pray you would receive the Lord Jesus Christ as your own personal savior. Eternal life is found in Him alone and He desires a personal relationship with you. He deems you so valuable He sent His only Son the Lord Jesus Christ to die for the forgiveness of your own personal sins. He has completed the work on the cross. There is nothing remaining for you to do, in fact, there is nothing you can do. There is nothing to be added, there is nothing to be subtracted, it is finished. (John 19:30) His love for you is so strong that He died for you, yes...you. Salvation is found in Christ. And, salvation is found in Christ alone. The salvation of the Lord Jesus Christ is not temporary, it is not uncertain, it is eternal and certain. (1 John 5:13)

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published